Envisioning a True Leader

Kristie Da-Ngoc Nguyen, a friend and former colleague at the American School of Brasilia, published her deeply profound and moving personal story in the most recent edition of The International Educator (TIE) newspaper.  Kristie’s article is shared below, with permission.

Envisioning a True Leader

By Kristie Da-Ngoc Nguyen
01/13/2016

“Together we inspire a love of learning, empowering all students with the courage, confidence, creativity, and compassion to make their unique contribution in a diverse and dynamic world.”

 On our welcome back to school day,  our head of school, Mr. Andrew Hoover and our school board chairperson, Ms. Gayathri Sriram, asked us to reflect on how we can use the 4 Cs of our school’s mission—Courage, Confidence, Creativity, and Compassion—to inspire our students. Ms. Sriram also shared with us a story about India’s beloved former president, APJ Abdul Kalam, who had passed away in the previous week.

Twenty years ago, Ms. Sriram had the opportunity to be in the audience at one of the Former President’s talks. He asked all those in the audience to close their eyes and envision a great leader. Our school board chairperson repeated this challenge, asking all of us to do the same,  calling up the image of someone who had inspired us. A vision of my father, Binh Van Nguyen, in his crisp white shirt and tie appeared in my mind. A man who embodied courage, confidence, creativity, and compassion. A man who has been a force throughout my life. A man who made me who I am today. Here is the story of my father.

In 1975, after the Fall of Saigon, my father was arrested and put in a re-education camp. His crime was working for the former government’s telecommunication office. Fortunately for us, my maternal grandfather had some connections from his resistance days fighting against the French regime. With what money he could gather, he paid a bribe to free my father from his incarceration. With a mark on his file, my father was unable to find a job. My grandfather gave my dad a job on his fishing boat. Though he had never done a day of hard labor in his life, my father happily accepted it.

Without any complaints, he embraced his new life as a fisherman. He learned as much as he could about the work and always found joy in everything. Every time he came home from a fishing trip, he taught my siblings and me the names of all the new sea creatures he had harvested. We learned which ones to stay away from and which tasted good. He made it so fun that we always looked forward to his return home.

By 1978, life had become unstable in Vietnam and my parents did not know what kind of future we would have there. They ultimately decided our family should flee the country. For their children’s future, my parents would say goodbye to everything and everyone in Vietnam and bring us to a new land of hope.

The plan to escape was simple: my father would go on one of his fishing trips and pass the checkpoint, then wait for us on shore. We would take a smaller boat through the jungle to get out to the coast without going through the checkpoint. A few mementos were packed and hidden on the boat. Everyone was set and ready to leave the country.

As dusk arrived, we boarded the small boat to head through the winding, narrow river in the dense jungle. We prayed that we wouldn’t get caught. Our hearts were thumping in our chests as we paddled further and further away from our home. We met with a few mishaps—the boat got stuck in the mud, and we met a few people that wanted to know where we were going—but we managed to reach the coast. The sea breeze blew away some of our worries as our destination came into view. A light flashed from afar, a signal from the boat that would carry us away. Unfortunately, the wind blew harder and harder, and the rain began to pour down on us.

Then suddenly, a dreadful storm came up and capsized our boat. We were thrown into the water, fighting for our lives. After what seemed like an eternity struggling against the relentless storm and the merciless waves, we were rescued by another fishing boat. Soon, we discovered that my mother, my five-year–old sister, and about seven other members were missing. A few people jumped in the water to search for them, but found no one. We were urged by the kind fisherman that rescued us to go, because they didn’t want to get caught.

When we arrived at my father’s boat he was informed of the news. My father broke down and cried. He wanted to go back and find my mother and sister, but time wasn’t on our side. Other members of the group pleaded that we had to leave immediately, before the authorities discovered our escape. They begged him to think about his other children: if we were caught, our future would forever be sealed. For his four other children’s future, my father sadly steered the boat to freedom. It must have been one of the hardest decisions he had to make in his life.

We arrived in Malaysia and were taken to a refugee camp in Kota Bharu. Life was hard, but it was not too bad. We were given sardines, eggs, and rice to eat. We didn’t have much, but we had each other. After five months in the refugee camp, we were sent to Des Moines, Iowa with some second-hand clothes and an album of valuable pictures in a rice sack. After a few months on welfare, and a few English lessons, my father went out to look for a job. He found a work as a custodian in a hospital. A man with a college degree, used to wearing a tie to work, now had to clean the floor and toilets. But he proudly went to work every day, and continued to go to school at night.

Wonderful dad that he was, he didn’t grumble when he came home at the end of a hard day. He always brought little treats from the hospital for us: discarded magazines and uneaten packages of jam or Jell-o were presents we always looked forward to. After eating a quick dinner, he would load the four of us and some of his classmates into his used station wagon to go to his night school. While he was in class, my siblings and I entertained each other by running down the hallways and peeking into other classrooms. It sure beat doing homework at night. After a few years of working and going to school, my dad earned an Associate degree from the community college. He quit his job as a custodian and found a better one working in the printing department of a newspaper. He died a few years later of a brain tumor, but not before seeing all of his children as college graduates working happily in their chosen fields.

This is a story about my father, a man who embodied courage, confidence, compassion, and creativity. A man who, despite starting his life in America with nothing but an empty hand, was able to bring up four wonderful children all by himself.

My wish for all us as educators is that many years from now, when kids close their eyes and think of who inspired them as a leader,  that each of our images will come to the mind of at least one child.

Kristie Da-Ngoc Nguyen is a third-grade teacher at the American International School Chennai.

One Resolution at a Time

The start of a new year also brings with it a deluge of advice and commitments to guide our resolutions. Mick Walsh, author and coach, believes that most new year resolutions are not fulfilled because they are too short-term in nature (i.e. knee-jerk remedies) and more focused on meeting the expectations of others rather than our own dreams.

To realize higher degrees of fulfillment, self actualization, and happiness, it can be argued that resolutions should be based only on long-term, life pattern behaviors. Walsh refers to a publication by Regina Brett, a journalist who celebrated her first fifty years of life by publishing an article listing the fifty lessons life taught her.  The following sample statements from Brett’s article speak to the ideals associated with resolutions that could serve to frame our long-term, life pattern behaviors.

  • Life isn’t fair, but it’s still good.
  • When in doubt, just take the next small step.
  • Life is too short to waste time hating anyone.
  • You don’t have to win every argument. Agree to disagree.
  • Cry with someone. It’s more healing than crying alone.
  • When it comes to chocolate, resistance is futile.
  • Make peace with your past so it won’t screw up the present.
  • It’s OK to let your children see you cry.
  • Don’t compare your life to others. You have no idea what their journey is all about.
  • Take a deep breath. It calms the mind.
  • Get rid of anything that isn’t useful, beautiful or joyful.
  • It’s never too late to have a happy childhood. But the second one is up to you and no one else.
  • When it comes to going after what you love in life, don’t take no for an answer.
  • Burn the candles, use the nice sheets, wear the fancy lingerie. Don’t save it for a special occasion. Today is special.
  • No one is in charge of your happiness but you.
  • Frame every so-called disaster with these words ‘In five years, will this matter?’
  • Forgive everyone everything.
  • Time heals almost everything. Give time time.
  • However good or bad a situation is, it will change.
  • Don’t take yourself so seriously. No one else does.
  • Your children get only one childhood.
  • All that truly matters in the end is that you loved.
  • Get outside every day. Miracles are waiting everywhere.
  • If we all threw our problems in a pile and saw everyone else’s, we’d grab ours back.
  • No matter how you feel, get up, dress up and show up.
  • Life isn’t tied with a bow, but it’s still a gift.

So how does this connect to the start of a new school semester? One of the many facets that I appreciate about our profession is the opportunity to begin each semester afresh as part of a continuous cycle of renewal. The new relationships, new challenges, and new learning and growth opportunities offered during the school year bring us another step forward towards the self-actualization aspirations we set for ourselves, both as individuals and as an institution.  The ongoing processes of setting goals and establishing resolutions, particularly those that are long-term life pattern behaviors that further our own and collective self-actualization and happiness, are directly linked to the ideals expressed through EAB’s mission: Learners inspiring learners to be inquisitive in life, principled in character, and bold in vision.

Jack Layton’s words further articulate these thoughts and our work as educators:

“My friends, love is better than anger.  Hope is better than fear.  Optimism is better than despair.  So let us be loving, hopeful, and optimistic.  And we’ll change the world.”

So, let us work to change the world through education, one resolution at a time.

 


Uma Resolução de Cada Vez

O início de um novo ano traz também uma enxurrada de conselhos e compromissos para orientar nossas resoluções. Mick Walsh, autor e instrutor, acredita que a maioria das resoluções de ano novo não são realizadas porque são de natureza transitória (ou seja, soluções apressadas) e com foco em atender as expectativas dos outros, em vez de cuidar dos nossos próprios sonhos.

Para alcançarmos um grau de satisfação maior, felicidade e termos consciência do nosso potencial, podemos afirmar que as resoluções devem ser baseadas apenas em longo prazo, nos comportamentos padrões de vida. Walsh fala de uma publicação de Regina Brett, uma jornalista que comemorou seus primeiros cinquenta anos de vida publicando um artigo com 50 lições que a vida lhe ensinou. Os exemplos seguintes do artigo de Brett falam dos ideais associados às resoluções que podem servir para estruturar o nosso padrão de comportamento a longo prazo.

  • A vida não é justa, mas ainda é boa.
  • Quando estiver em dúvida, dê somente o próximo passo, pequeno.
  • A vida é muito curta para desperdiçá-la odiando alguém.
  • Você não tem que ganhar todas as vezes. Concorde em discordar.
  • Chore com alguém. Cura melhor do que chorar sozinho
  • Quanto a chocolate, é inútil resistir.
  • Faça as pazes com seu passado, assim ele não atrapalha o presente.
  • Não há problemas em deixar suas crianças verem que você chora.
  • Não compare sua vida com a dos outros. Você não tem ideia do que é a jornada deles.
  • Respire fundo. Isso acalma a mente.
  • Livre-se de qualquer coisa que não seja útil, bonito ou alegre.
  • Nunca é muito tarde para ter uma infância feliz. Mas a segunda vez é por sua conta e ninguém mais.
  • Quando se trata do que você ama na vida, não aceite um não como resposta.
  • Acenda as velas, use os lençóis bonitos, use a sua roupa íntima chique. Não guarde isto para uma ocasião especial. Hoje é o dia especial.
  • Ninguém é o responsável pela sua felicidade a não ser você.
  • Enquadre todos os assim chamados “desastres” com estas palavras ‘Em cinco anos, isto importará?’
  • Perdoe tudo de todos.
  • O tempo cura quase tudo. Dê tempo ao tempo.
  • Não importa quão boa ou ruim é uma situação, ela mudará.
  • Não se leve muito a sério. Ninguém faz isso.
  • Suas crianças têm apenas uma infância. Torne-a memorável.
  • Saia de casa todos os dias. Os milagres estão esperando em todos os lugares.
  • Se todos nós colocássemos nossos problemas juntos em uma pilha e olhássemos os dos outros, nós pegaríamos os nossos de volta.
  • Não importa como você se sente, levante-se, vista-se e apareça.
  • A vida não está amarrada com um laço, mas ainda é um presente.

Então, como isso se conecta ao início de um novo semestre letivo? Uma das muitas facetas que eu aprecio sobre a nossa profissão é a oportunidade de começar de novo a cada semestre, como parte de um ciclo contínuo de renovação. As novas relações, novos desafios e novas oportunidades de aprendizado e crescimento oferecidas durante o ano letivo nos colocam um passo a frente nas aspirações de crescimento que estabelecemos para nós mesmos, como indivíduos e como instituição. Os processos de estabelecer metas e resoluções, particularmente as que são modelos de comportamento em longo prazo, que estimulam a nossa felicidade e consciência do nosso potencial e do todo, estão diretamente ligados aos ideais expressados através da missão da EAB: Aprendizes inspirando aprendizes a serem inquisitivos na vida, firmes em seu caráter e com uma visão audaciosa.

As palavras de Jack Layton estimulam a articulação desses pensamentos e o nosso trabalho como educadores:

“Meus amigos, o amor é melhor do que a raiva. A esperança é melhor do que o medo. O otimismo é melhor do que desespero. Por isso, vamos ser amorosos, esperançosos e otimistas e, assim, vamos mudar o mundo”.

Então, vamos trabalhar para mudar o mundo por meio da educação, uma resolução de cada vez.


 

Featured image: cc licensed (CC BY-NC-ND 2.0) flickr photo by Toni Verdú Carbó:The Passage of Time; https://www.flickr.com/photos/tonivc/2283676770/