April 2017 – Barry Dequanne

“All grown-ups were once children… but only a few of them remember it” ~The Little Prince by Antoine de Saint-Exupéry

I was recently listening to a series of interviews with Joseph Campbell and his reflections on the essential themes that have emerged from sixty years of his life’s work. He emphasized the interconnectedness of our lives and the human experience, the fundamental role of storytelling in our culture, and the importance of courageously embarking on our individual journeys to fully realize our lives, as highlighted in his book, The Hero with a Thousand Faces. Campbell also shared a curious thought when he suggested that adults should read more children’s books to further our own learning and understanding. In fact, this seems to be sound advice, particularly as I recall a memorable and meaningful graduation speech that used a children’s book as its framework to convey a meaningful message.

A friend and colleague, Corey Watlington, was selected by the senior class to deliver the faculty commencement speech. While I am sorry that I do not recall all of the details of the speech, the messages conveyed through the use of a children’s book resonated with all of us. The book’s title is, The Three Questions, by Jon J. Muth, and, following Joseph Campbell’s advice and using Corey Watlington’s idea, the following is a brief summary and reflection associated with the book.

The book’s main character is a boy named Nikolai who is seeking answers to three questions: When is the best time to do things? Who is most important? What is the right thing to do? A cast of colourful characters, which include a monkey, heron, turtle, dog, and panda, all play important roles as Nikolai is forced to overcome several challenges due to a terrible storm. Through adversity, his own kindness, and the support and guidance of his friends, Nikolai finds answers to his three questions: “…there is only one important time, and that time is now. The most important person is always the one you are with. And the most important thing is to do good for the one who is standing at your side.”

This is indeed good advice and a reminder, not only for adults but also for our students and those responsible for our educational programs, of the importance of being present and kind. With so many distractions, technologies, and the seemingly ever-accelerating pace of life, this can be a challenge. Still, we owe it to ourselves and those around us to make this a priority. For this reason and many others, I am grateful for the opportunity to work and live in Brazil as the Brazilians have much to teach us about living in the present, enjoying the moment, and appreciating the people in our lives. As a Canadian with a disposition that can, at times, bend slightly towards a future orientated focus, the answers to Nikolai’s questions are always a welcome reminder.

International schools generally embrace a strong emphasis on a holistic educational approach, which includes the well-being and health of our students and communities. To that end, Nikolai’s learning extends to our educational programs and school cultures such that there are high value and support placed on being present, actively valuing our relationships, and ensuring a focus on kindness. Perhaps these approaches are some of the factors associated with Joseph Campbell’s reference to the interconnectedness of our lives and the human experience.

Featured image: cc licensed (CC BY-NC-ND 2.0) flickr photo Alan Morgan: The end of a wonderful day.  https://www.flickr.com/photos/jeff_sch/9274657293/in/photostream/

“Light precedes every transition. Whether at the end of a tunnel, through a crack in the door or the flash of an idea, it is always there, heralding a new beginning.” — Teresa Tsalaky

I have been thinking a lot about transitions lately. We recently hosted the incoming Head of School for a one-week transition visit. I am also preparing to transition to Switzerland and the exciting changes associated with working at a new school and living in a new country. Like other international schools, we are preparing to say goodbye to beloved teachers, students, and families as they transition to other parts of the world, while also looking ahead and confirming the details for new teacher and family orientations. It can sometimes feel that life in an international school setting is one of constant transition where change in the norm and not the exception. While this seemingly perpetual state of transition is inherently filled with challenges, the opportunities for growth and new experiences are significant when we are able to effectively manage our transitions.

When a thoughtful colleague, David Chojnacki, heard that I would be transitioning to another school, he recommended I read William Bridges’ book, Transitions. I am grateful for this reference as Bridges’ book is a must read because, in some form or another, we are all going through a transition! The book’s main message is that all of life’s transitions embody a similar pattern and, by recognizing and accepting these patterns, the tough times associated with a transition will not only make sense but will be more bearable. To that end, it is important to differentiate between “change”, which is what happens to us, and “transition”, which is how we manage our feelings while we work through these changes throughout our life journey.

Transition is an internal, emotional, and psychological process. In contrast, change is external, situational, and does not require those affected to transition. Transitions are longer processes that require those affected to gradually accept the new situations that result from the changes. Bridges’ frames all transitions in terms of a three-phase process involving an Ending, a Neutral Zone, and a New Beginning.

An Ending recognizes that a transition begins with letting go of the pre-change reality. In international schools, a significant number of teachers, students, and parents begin the process of letting go each semester as they prepare to move on to new endeavors. Depending on each individual, Endings are usually characterized by emotions such as denial, shock, anger, frustration, and stress. Emphatic listening and open communication for all involved are important strategies for getting through and supporting those who are experiencing an Ending. Recognizing that an Ending is about letting go is an important step towards what the author calls the Neutral Zone.

The Neutral Zone represents the bridge between the old and new in which we can still be attached to the past but also looking ahead to the future. The Neutral Zone is a place of uncertainty where people wonder about how they will adapt to the change they are currently experiencing. It is during this time that we can experience feelings of self-doubt, fear, anxiety, and skepticism. In contrast, the Neutral Zone can be a time of real growth and represent an incredibly rich time in our lives, as is beautifully illustrated through Danaan Parry’s trapeze metaphor.

The New Beginning phase is one where new understandings, values, attitudes, and identities are established. It is during this time that we emotionally and psychologically commit to the new reality that has been created through the change process. This commitment is usually accompanied by feelings of acceptance, importance, hope, and enthusiasm. This is also a good time to recognize and celebrate the third phase of the transition process.

William Bridges’ writings remind us to recognize that life’s transitions follow a similar pattern and to embrace our endings, neutral zones, and new beginnings. As we look ahead and begin to prepare for the end of another semester, I would like to wish everyone and all of our schools the very best as we embrace the positive changes and transitions that are such an integral part of international communities.

Reference:

Bridges, W. (2004). Transitions: Making sense of life’s changes. Da Capo Press.

Portuguese / Português

Transição

“A luz precede toda transição. Seja a luz no fim do túnel, pelas frestas nas portas ou no brilho de uma ideia, ela está sempre lá, anunciando um novo começo.” – Teresa Tsalaky

Ultimamente, eu tenho pensado muito sobre transições. Recentemente, recebemos o próximo diretor geral da EAB, Allan Bredy para uma visita de transição. Eu também estou me preparando para mudar para a Suiça e para as mudanças animadoras associadas ao trabalho em uma nova escola e a mudança para um novo país. Como em outras escolas internacionais, estamos nos preparando para dizer adeus aos nossos amados professores, alunos e famílias que também irão se mudar para outras partes do mundo, mas também nos preparando para a orientação de novos professores e famílias. É comum sentirmos que a vida em uma escola internacional é uma constante transição onde a mudança é algo normal e não exceção. Embora este estado, aparentemente perpétuo, de transição seja cheio de desafios, as oportunidades de crescimento e novas experiências são significativas quando somos capazes de gerenciar de forma efetiva nossas transições.

Um colega atencioso, David Chojnacki, soube que eu estaria me mudando para outra escola e me recomendou a leitura do livro de William Bridges, Transitions.Sou grato por esta referência, já que o livro de Bridges é um dos tipos obrigatórios de leitura, porque de alguma forma estamos todos passando por algum tipo de transição! A principal mensagem do livro é que todas as transições da vida incorporam um padrão semelhante e, reconhecendo e aceitando esses padrões, os tempos difíceis associados a uma transição não só farão sentido, mas serão mais suportáveis. Para isso, é importante sabermos a diferença entre “mudança”, que é o que acontece conosco, e “transição”, que é a forma como gerenciamos nossos sentimentos enquanto percorremos essas mudanças ao longo da nossa jornada de vida.

A transição é um processo interno, emocional e psicológico. Já a mudança é externa, situacional e não necessariamente ligada à transição. As transições são processos mais longos que exigem que os afetados aceitem gradualmente as novas situações resultantes das mudanças. Bridges enquadra todas as transições em um processo de três fases: Final, Zona Neutra e um Novo Começo.

O Final reconhece que uma transição começa com o abandono da realidade de uma pré-mudança. Nas escolas internacionais, um número significativo de professores, alunos e pais começam o processo de abandono do semestre ao se prepararem para ingressar em novos empreendimentos. Dependendo de cada indivíduo, o término de algo geralmente é caracterizado por emoções como negação, choque, raiva, frustração e estresse. Ouvir ativamente e uma comunicação aberta com todos os envolvidos são estratégias importantes para obter e apoiar aqueles que estão experimentando um Final. Reconhecer um Final é abrir mão, um passo importante em direção ao que o autor chama de Zona Neutra.

A Zona Neutra representa a ponte entre o antigo e o novo, no qual ainda podemos estar ligados ao passado, mas também olhar para o futuro. A Zona Neutra é um lugar de incerteza onde as pessoas se perguntam sobre como se adaptarão à mudança que estão experimentando atualmente. É durante este tempo que podemos experimentar sentimentos de auto-dúvida, medo, ansiedade e ceticismo. Em contraste, a Zona Neutra pode ser um tempo de crescimento real e representar um tempo incrivelmente rico em nossas vidas, como é lindamente ilustrado através da metáfora do trapézio de Danaan Parry.

A fase do Novo Começo é aquela onde novos entendimentos, valores, atitudes e identidades são estabelecidos. É durante esse período que nos comprometemos emocionalmente e psicologicamente com a nova realidade que foi criada através do processo de mudança. Este compromisso é geralmente acompanhado por sentimentos de aceitação, importância, esperança e entusiasmo. Este também é um bom momento para reconhecer e celebrar a terceira fase do processo de transição.

Os escritos de William Bridges nos lembram de reconhecer que as transições da vida seguem um padrão semelhante e abraçam nossos fins, zonas neutras e novos começos. À medida que olhamos para frente e começamos a nos preparar para o final de outro semestre, eu gostaria de desejar a todos e a todas as nossas escolas o melhor, ao abraçarmos as mudanças e transições positivas que são parte integrante das comunidades internacionais.

Featured image: cc licensed (CC BY 2.0) flickr photo Hernán Piñera: Niebla / Fog https://www.flickr.com/photos/boston_public_library/6554394361/in/photostream/